Growth after Trauma

By the time my students reach my classes at Miami Dade College many of them (research shows from 66 to 85%) have experienced a traumatic lifetime event. These events range from the death of a loved one to physical and sexual abuse.

These numbers clearly go up as we get older. I see this as I teach yoga when my fellow yogis share the challenges they are facing (an aging parent with dementia, a wrestling match with cancer, loss of employment, depression–the list goes on). Trauma is something we can’t control and or avoid. I think of the events of the past couple of weeks in our community with the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas and the FIU bridge collapse. You can look back at your own life and see the many times you were seriously set back. I know as I look back at my own that it has been punctuated with a number of life changing events that I did not want to experience.

What I find most interesting, however, is not so much the common presence of trauma in our lives, but how different people work through their trauma. Some experience a loss of purpose and sense of living that diminishes them permanently, and others, in time, come out the other end with renewed strength and personal growth.

I teach a community writing class where students spend half of the semester working with adults with intellectual disabilities at the WOW Center. When we start the semester, most students report never having had any contact with a person with a disability. Many join the class believing that they want to be of help.

What’s most interesting to me is the point in the term when they begin to write their research essays. Instead of focusing on the Center or the individuals with disabilities, many choose to write about the surprising change they experience while working with their partners. Many report a renewed sense of purpose with their studies, a greater sense of joy, and a desire to continue their service to others. Their partners inspire them.

What my students don’t expect as they begin their work is that heir experience at the Center will change them. As much as they thought they were doing an outward service, what they notice is that the being with their partners has a transformative effect on them that affects their mood and perspective on life. The connection they experience, even for a brief moment in time, shifts or dislodges a low-grade hopelessness that to often manifests in apathy and a disheartened approach to living.

My students’ observations are backed up by research. We know that personal growth even after trauma is possible and can be predicted. For many growth can be seen in five areas of life:

1. Appreciation of life
2. Social relationships
3. Personal strength
4. Spirituality
5. New possibilities

The most common area where people report the most change and benefit is in improving social relationships. This is critical because a sense of belonging is one of the key factors in determining if we are going to come out the other end of trauma more resilient and stronger or left more debilitated.

Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger is a common sentiment, but it is categorically false. Sometimes what we experience leaves us living with less passion, purpose, and joy and those changes become the new paradigm through which we experience the world. This is far too common. We settle for loss of joy instead of moving toward possibility.

This is important. None of us will come to the end of our lives without some sort of trauma. As much as trauma potentially reduces our sense and purpose of life, connecting to others, discovering meaning in our day-to-day life, and working not just for ourselves but the benefit of others counteracts the negative effects of trauma and puts us on a path toward growth.

I don’t know where you are right now in your own mind and heart. If you are in one of those places where you are struggling, know that there is way through. You are not alone. Join us this week as we work on our strength, flexibility, and mental and emotional resilience. You are worth it! A group class has more benefits than meets the eye. Human growth does not happen in a vacuum. Community and communion are the conduits for positive change.