Strong and Beautiful

Everyday I eat healthy lean meats, vegetables, and fats, and I exercise about 4-5 times a week. When I say exercise, I mean lift weights. I have always loved to lift weights. It’s empowering to feel myself gain strength, and I love to challenge my physical and mental capabilities.

But just like any girl with muscles, I have received negative comments here and there from men about being too muscular or too strong. It’s never bothered me. However, lately I began feeling insecure about my muscles, especially my arms.

For those who disregard the power of language, think again. Words are powerful, and sometimes the power lift is not so much about the weight on the bar, but the strength it takes to lift oneself up above the noise of negativity in the spaces we inhabit.

Our culture continues to view muscles and strength as masculine.  We’ve made progress, but the reality is that for many if not most, femininity is associated with having a slender body. The all too common I want to get toned line I hear from my girlfriends obsessed with spinning and cardio is code for staying safe within the bounds of acceptable and sexist dominant culture because getting ripped is just not girly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I realized that an important part of being feminine is being strong, inside and out. Why should I be ashamed of the hard work I put forth day in and day out? With these thoughts in my mind,  I found myself in church for the first time in awhile and there was one line the preacher (who was a woman) that really stuck with me, “If you are struggling, you are alive.” I needed to hear that! 

My struggle with body image is not merely personal. It points to a greater struggle with the dominant culture. We’re in especially difficult times where people are called snowflakes for showing any kind of sensitivity.

I don’t train everyday. Rest days are important for strength. I keep this in mind as I lift my heart up. The greater struggle to control and define what it means to be a woman and a man is ongoing, but not every day has to be a workout day. We all need to take time to rest our minds and hearts as well. Writing this down and sharing with you is part of that self-care for me–that rest that comes from relaxing, embracing, and celebrating my whole me.

To all my girls and even guys who are struggling, no matter what it is, just remember, we are alive and being alive means that we grow stronger as we transform the struggle into a celebration and affirmation to do the work we are meant to do.

*Inez Gonzalez studies at UCF with the goal of earning a doctorate in physical therapy.